No F in flying
any more. Yes, there is no fun at all. Journey,
I always felt, was if not more, equally important reason for a holiday.
More often the overall experience of a holiday abroad is totally and
truly eclipsed by the aeroplane journey.
You report to
the airport one to three hours before the departure time for the said purpose
of check-in and security but most of this time is spent loitering in the
waiting areas till they announce the gate number.
All this time you are their prisoner.
You are made to walk through rows and rows of gift shops. They tell you encouragingly
“it is TAX FREE, Sir.” Though you know pretty well that it is five times more
costly than in a high street shop or ten times costlier than in online shops!
You buy not
because you need that shiny watch or that Eau de Perfume in the black and gold
bottle with sparkling crystal top, but because you are bored to death and you
will do anything to escape it, law permitting. Even if you muster all your will
power and shun that temptation you end up sitting in a cafe or a bar gorging on
masses of sugary and fatty treats and guzzling
tons of drinks laden with either
depressants (alcohol) or stimulants (coffee) or both, oblivious of the eye-watering,
exorbitant prices.
Finally the
gate is announced, you run to the gate which is at least a miles from the
waiting area. But the waiting does not end there; you wait again in a miniscule enclosure and may be an hour later, go through the privilege of another mini check
at the final gate!
Once inside
the plane, you immediately remember the photograph showing the Guinness record
of maximum number of humans fitting inside a Mini. It takes all athletic
prowess to negotiate your way through the ever narrowing isle to the seat and push
in your hand bag in the overhead locker. You have to suck in your tummy and
squeeze in the slimmest of seats you had ever sat. “DESIGNED FOR YOUR COMFORT
AND SAFETY” said the billboard!
At the other
end it can again take up to three hours before you get through the immigration,
collect your luggage and pass through the custom. Out of the airport and you
have to go through another journey to reach your hotel. God forbid if you have
flown with a cheaper, no frill airline, they will drop you at an airport which
is in an uninhabited desert or a forest, always a few light years away from
your destination!
You reach your
hotel/resort tired and depressed with no energy or will to experience and
explore the delights of the holiday.
And do not
forget, you still have to fly back!
I am seriously
planning not to include any flying in my holidays any more and I am not alone. If the
airlines do not bring the F back they are doomed.
And maybe it
is for the best with the Damocles’ sword of global warming hanging over all of us. There is a silver lining after all!
It is better to travel well than to arrive
a
saying attributed to Buddha
Once inside
the plane, you immediately remember the photograph showing the Guinness record
of maximum number of humans fitting inside a Mini. It takes all athletic
prowess to negotiate your way through the ever narrowing isle to the seat and push
in your hand bag in the overhead locker. You have to suck in your tummy and
squeeze in the slimmest of seats you had ever sat. “DESIGNED FOR YOUR COMFORT
AND SAFETY” said the billboard!
