NO F IN FLYING ANY MORE

No F in flying any more. Yes, there is no fun at all.  Journey, I always felt, was if not more, equally important reason for a holiday.
More often the overall experience of a holiday abroad is totally and truly eclipsed by the aeroplane journey.

You report to the airport one to three hours before the departure time for the said purpose of check-in and security but most of this time is spent loitering in the waiting areas till they announce the gate number.

All this time you are their prisoner. You are made to walk through rows and rows of gift shops. They tell you encouragingly “it is TAX FREE, Sir.” Though you know pretty well that it is five times more costly than in a high street shop or ten times costlier than in online shops!

You buy not because you need that shiny watch or that Eau de Perfume in the black and gold bottle with sparkling crystal top, but because you are bored to death and you will do anything to escape it, law permitting. Even if you muster all your will power and shun that temptation you end up sitting in a cafe or a bar gorging on masses of sugary and fatty treats and guzzling  tons of  drinks laden with either depressants (alcohol) or stimulants (coffee) or both, oblivious of the eye-watering, exorbitant  prices.

Finally the gate is announced, you run to the gate which is at least a miles from the waiting area. But the waiting does not end there; you wait again in a miniscule enclosure and may be an hour later, go through the privilege of another mini check at the final gate!

Once inside the plane, you immediately remember the photograph showing the Guinness record of maximum number of humans fitting inside a Mini. It takes all athletic prowess to negotiate your way through the ever narrowing isle to the seat and push in your hand bag in the overhead locker. You have to suck in your tummy and squeeze in the slimmest of seats you had ever sat. “DESIGNED FOR YOUR COMFORT AND SAFETY” said the billboard!

At the other end it can again take up to three hours before you get through the immigration, collect your luggage and pass through the custom. Out of the airport and you have to go through another journey to reach your hotel. God forbid if you have flown with a cheaper, no frill airline, they will drop you at an airport which is in an uninhabited desert or a forest, always a few light years away from your destination!

You reach your hotel/resort tired and depressed with no energy or will to experience and explore the delights of the holiday.

And do not forget, you still have to fly back!

I am seriously planning not to include any flying in my holidays any more and I am not alone. If the airlines do not bring the F back they are doomed.

And maybe it is for the best with the Damocles’ sword of global warming hanging over all of us.  There is a silver lining after all!

It is better to travel well than to arrive

                                                                a saying attributed to Buddha