I fully knew
it was irrational and silly but still I felt awfully uneasy with a sense of
impending menace. I and Bibha were in a
huge out of town supermarket.
After about
4 months the lockdown and shielding triggered by Covid19 was lifted a few day
ago. All this time we have stayed in the house or in our small garden. We did
not visit anyone and had no visitors. We ordered our day to day essentials online
and got delivered once a week. Our young neighbours always inquired if we
needed anything and got for us fresh milk, fruit and greens whenever they went
to the shops.
We did go
out for walks in our compound along the river. We went during quieter periods
of the day and always maintained a substantive distance if anyone passed by. Deliberately
changing your course to avoid the person or persons coming your way by such a
distance would have seemed unfriendly at best and racist at worst in normal times.
But it was certainly not normal times! One had to force one’s brain to see the
fellow humans as walking reservoirs of corona virus. It felt ridiculous but we did it. Since
middle of June the lockdown has been very gradually eased. As the infection in
the community continued decreasing, on August the 1st the shielding finally
stopped. Hooray!
A few days
later we planned to venture out to the supermarket, masked and gloved. We decided that if we see a big queue outside
the shop we will not go in, nevertheless it would be a good drive!
The drive
was good, not a lot of traffic but enough to avoid a deserted appearance. The
supermarket had a big car park. It had blocked alternate slots so as to keep
the cars about 2 meters apart. Near the entrance door there was a small queue,
4 or 5 people long, everyone maintaining social distance by standing on the
lines marked on the floor.
Inside the
shop the isles looked wider but it was an illusion because there were less people.
We had planned only to buy a few things. I went to get the coffee jar and Bibha went to
buy some fresh fruits. The customers mostly kept distance but occasionally did
come too near. I got a big jar of the coffee which we needed and some nice
chocolate biscuits which we did not.
I went to
the fresh fruits and vegetable section to get Bibha but she was not there. She
must have gone to see something else. I was going to phone her but as usual, I
had forgotten my mobile at home. I started walking slowly in the main isle
hoping to see her or be seen by her. Now that I was not busy, I looked at the
people. All during the lockdown we have only seen one or two people at a time
but here there were many. In the bakery section they were only a few inches apart
almost touching each other. Smell of fresh bread had probably attracted too
many people at the same time reflexly.
After 4
months of isolation to avoid getting Covid, why was I here among all these
people for just some nonessential grocery? Just because the government decided
to end lockdown on this date, it did not really mean that the threat was over. What
if the person who just passed me had asymptomatic disease? What if someone
might have just sneezed or coughed a few seconds before I came here? All these thoughts
quickly passed through my mind. I just froze. What was I doing here?
I saw Bibha
coming towards me and we went quickly to the tills, paid and came out. At the
exit door we used the sanitizer gel again and almost ran to the safety of the car.
Once inside the car I was better and felt a bit silly at my reaction a few
moments ago.
During the
last 4 months of isolation we got in the habit of having total control of the
space around us. When I saw other people around me in that confined space that
feeling of control suddenly shattered. This was what caused the momentary panic
in the supermarket aisle.
Since then I
have been to shopping centre and supermarkets a few times with total ease, of
course with mask and social distancing. We have met our children and
grandchildren, some friends and some neighbours too.
Things are
returning to near normal or should I say new normal.
The threat
of the rise in Covid19 cases and further Lockdowns still remains but with
proper precautions and a sense of collective responsibility we might, just might
avoid it. I wish and HOPE!
