day one, retirement

yesterday was my last working day at the hospital where i worked as a plastic surgeon for the last 15 years. i had decided many years ago that i will retire when i am sixty and i was eagerly looking forward to my last working day. but when the day came i really felt very sad. why this contradiction? i was puzzled. then it dawned on me that it must be because i had a lot more good and happy times here than bad. i must have met more good people here than bad. i must have very good friends around me here.
i had emotional and tear hiding farewell encounters individually and collectively with a lot of people who have worked with me over the years. my wife made a retirement cake and a poem, more emotions more tear hiding something in the eye moments.my finally a hearty farewell dinner at lime tree restaurant. in bed at 1am, call it exhaustion and also fare amount of wine i slept like a log.

i was awake at half past six. how come? normally my alarm goes off at 7am and i force myself to get up after a few nudges and pushes by my wife at about 7:30. and to day when i do not have to go to work i got up by my self at 6:30. what is going on?

went down ,made tea for my self and my wife ( usually it is otherway round) listened to radio 4 news , went in the garden and took bath ,yoga bla bla .i even went to cinema in the afternoon and did a bit of gardening. tidied my email and contact folders on the new net book.

why am so active and trying to keep my self so occupied? i think it is the fear that if i do not keep doing something i will just slouch on the sofa in front of the telly and will not get up. though that is what i wanted to do uninterrupted till yesterday.
i have to overcome this fear and relax. may be yoga, starting from tomorrow, see just planning this made me feel better, of to bed now to prepare for tomorrow.